Tag Archives: brothers and sisters in Jesus

Our brains designed by God to be receptive to Him, our sin messes up that design.

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I’ve seen a lot has been written lately on the unique design of the brain. That the case could be made that  the human brain was designed by God to be receptive to God’s guiding. The point is also made that the human brain is very elastic, very malleable. This means that the brain was made one way and intended by God for His guidance. Because the brain is so elastic, though, it is very subject to being changed from its intended purpose and to our human thoughts and deeds. Meaning, by our sin, by our lusts, obsessions, hatreds, substance abuse, lack of exercise, poor diet, anger, bitterness, we change our brains to be very different from what God intended them to be.

The research I’ve seen has shown that damage to the brain either physical or psychic can impact the brain very negatively. The “prefrontal regions” of the human brain is responsible for what is referred to as the “executive functions of the brain”. This part of the human brain is vastly different than any other animal brain. As Gary Sibcy PhD points out: “Spirituality is not some separate part of our functioning, but refers to how well all the different components work together in a synchronized and coherent fashion. Just as the term ‘team’ is about how well all the players work together, spirituality is about how well our thinking, feeling, behaving, relating, communicating and problem-solving operate in relation to others and God. Jesus’ life itself represents a living example of perfect harmony across all these domains.” (Christian Counseling Today Vol 20 No 3 p 42)

One thing that does come out in the research is that this part of the brain is rather vulnerable, subject to physical trauma and also psychic trauma (issues like bullying, sexual abuse, trauma, stress etc). I know that there are people who have been affected this way and have become bitter and anger, often against God and those who try to help them. But, it does seem to me, albeit my lay mind, that the elasticity of the brain can be used to shape the brain back to being receptive to God and away from anger and bitterness. Seems to me, that secular ways of dealing with this simply reinforces the anger and bitterness, trying to find a way to justify the anger and bitterness and resentfulness against Christians who are trying to help someone by adjusting their brain away from the bitterness and toward the love, care, compassion of Christ and Christians.

Well this doesn’t seem to play well into the secular. It frankly seems that the secular is much more interested in justifying the anger, justifying striking back and dispensing with any hope that they can come back into a healthy relationship with others.

Anyway, the prefrontal regions regulate/coordinate the higher functions of the brain. The claim seems to be that when the brain is operating properly, when we are allowing God to guide the Executive functions, instead of what people usually do and resort to the use of the lower functions of the brain. Sibcy writes: “…the prefrontal region … plays a critical role in spirituality because it provides the underlying biological platform that supports a wide number of neurocognitive processes and allows us to achieve ‘maturity in Christ’.

I’m not going to camp on this or bet the house, but it seems logical; God operates the higher functions of the human brain, we take our brain to the lower functions. It’s not to say someone is “smarter” because, I believe, there are other parts of the brain more engaged in just pure intelligence. But it seems that we are allowing God to manage and coordinate the brain when we rely on Him to guide us by our prefrontal regions and that does give us maturity, emotional depth, warmth, patience, humility etc. I’m sure you know someone who is quite brilliant but has little ability to effectively coordinate their brain between their brilliance and having emotional depth, empathy, humility etc., a great example is Sheldon the off the chart brilliant astro-physicist on the television program “Big Bang Theory”.

Again, I am a lay person, but for some reason, lately, I’ve been reading some very deep material in the elasticity of the brain. This is a rather new development in science and a factor that isn’t taken into account in secular psychological treatment. It seems as if secular treatment allows the mind to be hardened into the trauma by repeating the trauma,  establishing who is the victim and villan and allowing the patient to be divided and enabled in their trauma, instead of trying to use the plasticity of the brain in order to overcome and move beyond the trauma.

As Christians we have to continue to pray and encourage those who are dealing with trauma, but we also need to challenge them to grow in maturity. We need to encourage them to trust healing in the Holy Spirit who, I have no doubt, will influence the patient, as He does with all of us, through the higher/executive functions of the brain. Through our encouragement and prayer I have no doubt that we are helping this person to use these executive functions in order to coordinate all the parts of the brain to rest and trust in God and follow His leading. It frankly seems that the secular says, “no you have to do everything by yourself, continually relive the trauma and let your brain harden into the bitterness and resentment of your trauma and you can simply sit and stew in your anger at the world and God.” We are called to a higher solution. God’s love, compassion, comfort, healing works through the prefrontal parts and heals, the world appeals to the lower parts of the brain and allows bitterness and anger to build. Obviously we are called to encourage, pray, include in community and turn from anger and bitterness to God in Christ.

Christian version of “g” factor

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Pastoring is still such a new experience and adjustments. Twenty-nine years in the military, twenty years in corporations, I know the phrase has gotten kind of trite, but really, failure wasn’t an option. Failure happened, but you worked to find alternatives, to minimize the impact of failure. There just doesn’t seem to be that sort of dedication in the average, even above average Christian, pastor or laity for that matter. Rich Karlgaard is a great writer for Forbes and his article “Smarts in Business is not about IQ”, is right on the mark. (Forbes Magazine  December 13, 2013 p 46)

I don’t know if it’s an excuse or a genuine fear, but Christian’s usual cop-out is “I don’t know enough to talk to other people about Jesus.” It’s not really about what you know, the average person isn’t going to ask you technical questions, the Bible, it is about relationship, staying in touch, being tenacious.  You’re tough and tenacious at the office, why can’t we be the same when we are talking to someone about the Lord of your life, your Savior?

“The smartest people in business are not those who have the highest g; they are those who regularly put themselves in situations requiring grit. These acts of courage accelerate learning through adaptation.”

It’s the old ‘you only learn by doing’ philosophy. Be honest, you see situations where you should be talking to someone about Jesus and then avoid getting involved. Witnessing requires a level of comfort and the only way you will be comfortable is by looking for the opportunities and jumping in, I assure you no one is going to bite you. It’s not a works thing, it’s not required for you to be saved. But Scripture tells us that we will be known by our fruits, seems to me the average Christian’s fruits on display to the world is “run away!!”. How does that show the world our devotion to Jesus?

Karlgaard’s observation is a challenge to us to jump into the fray and be less concerned about our precious dignity and more concerned about how the Holy Spirit is working through us: “By facing up to the task of making a call, frequent callers put themselves on a faster learning curve. They discover more rapidly what works and what doesn’t. They’re quicker to learn techniques that overcome rejection. Thus, their success yield will improve…The act of making lots of calls also helps a person learn self-discipline and understand the rewards of delayed gratification.”

Yes, it is all about the Holy Spirit and what He does. We can’t talk someone into the Kingdom, we can’t by our own power be saved. But we can be faithful, we can trust what the Holy Spirit is doing with us in relation to someone else. This is the most important aspect of someone’s existence, eternal salvation. Care enough about them to trust the Spirit’s leading and then know that your reward waits for you when the Father says to you “…well done good and faithful servant You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.'” (Matt 25:21). Let’s talk about it Wednesday morning 10am at First St Johns, mid-week Bible study Coffee Break. 140 W King St, park right behind the church.

Learn to forgive like Joseph forgave,

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Please click on the above link to listen to the audio version, or copy this link and paste it into your browser.

We make our beginning in the Name of God the Father and of God the Son and of God the Holy Spirit and all those who forgive because they know how much they’ve been forgiven said … AMEN!
Matthew, quoting Jesus, has really camped on a theme for our last few sermons, that being forgiveness. Specifically we’ve talked about holding grudges, being offended. “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” Many people out in the world will tell you that’s in the Bible, “No! You are the weakest link! Goodbye.” It is from English poet Alexander Pope. Sort of presupposes that God forgives, but people, well… we just can’t rise up to that level. Yet, we do see forgiveness. Remember the story of Joseph?
He kind of flaunted the gift from his father, Israel. His father was originally named Jacob, but after wrestling with God all night, God renamed him Israel. He became the father of the 12 patriarchs, the men/brothers who would be the roots of the twelve tribes of Israel. Jacob/Israel had two wives, that is a whole other story, except to say that Rachel was his favorite. Now the wrinkle there was that while Rachel was the favorite, she was having a great deal of difficulty in conceiving. As we’ve said, not having children was a huge humiliation to the man and wife, but particularly to the wife. Jacob’s other wife, Leah, had 6 sons, that arrived soon and fast, while Rachel ached in embarrassment. Rachel finally had a son, Joseph and he became Jacob’s favorite, the son of his favorite wife. Rachel had another son, Benjamin, Rachel died giving birth to him. No doubt that probably caused problems being the son who caused his beloved wife’s death. It would seem that Jacob doted on Joseph and the rest of his sons resented that. Genesis 37:3 tells us that Jacob “made a richly ornamented robe for him.” for Joseph. Remember these people are nomads, they don’t run to the mall to buy their clothes, clothes are hard to come by and especially fancy clothes. The fact that he made this for Joseph and it was very lavish, made this an extraordinary gift and was certainly the talk of the tribe and no doubt made Joseph everyone else’s target. Now add to that Genesis 37:5-7 “Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers they hated him even more. He said to them, “Hear this dream that I have dreamed: Behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and behold, my sheaf arose and stood upright. And behold, your sheaves gathered around it and bowed down to my sheaf.” His brothers said to him, “Are you indeed to reign over us? Or are you indeed to rule over us?” So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words.” And then he had another dream that even the sun, moon and stars would bow down to him. Hey he was a kid, he really didn’t know, but to everyone else he is over the top obnoxious. The coat, the bowing down, all makes Joseph the spoiled rotten, snott nosed kid that everyone hates. I don’t really believe that Joseph intended to be so obnoxious, but that’s how he came across. Can’t you see his brothers? “What you little punk, who do you think you’re talking to? You may be daddy’s favorite, but you’re just a kid and daddy’s not going to be around forever, and hmmmm, who knows, can never tell out there in the desert, ahhh, you just might have an “accident”. Jacob sends Joseph out to his brothers, really to check up on them out in the pastures tending sheep. That turns out to be a stupid move. His brothers saw him in the distance and decided, “great this is our chance, we are going to take care of this little punk once and for all.”
They decided they were going to leave him to die, then they decided, ahh, we should make a shekel out of this for ourselves and sold Joseph as a slave. He was a slave for awhile, then he was falsely accused, thrown into an Egyptian prison where he would have probably just died, but God decided He had bigger plans for Joseph and that’s where we see Joseph now. He has been made the second most powerful man in Egypt. He could have just let his family starve back in Israel or at least with his brothers now bowing down in front of him, just like in his dreams, he could have just done away with his brothers. He didn’t do that, he saw God’s hand in what happened: “…you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive.” (Ge 50:20) He didn’t let his anger, hurt and bitterness keep him from seeing the big picture.
I can’t tell you to put all your anger and hurt into a kit bag and smile, smile, smile. I can’t look you in the face and tell you I’d do that, it’s not a question of stuffing it down or denying that you’re hurt. But it is a question of whether it will just drag you down, get you to obsess. Hey that’s just fine with Satan, if we are going to obsess about our anger and ignore Christ, then Satan has accomplished his mission, whatever it takes to get your eyes off Christ is the goal. If you are going to let your anger eat you up and devour you, then mission accomplished. We are called to move on. From the cross Jesus said, “forgive them Father they know not what they do.” What if He decided, “heck with this, I’m getting off this cross and I’m just going to show all these people who’ve tormented me what for. Then what about forgiveness for our sins? Three days later Jesus rose from the grave, that was the victory! We are sunk in our sins, no other way to escape except through His sacrifice. He died to give us the promise and assurance of forgiveness, and so we are. But if He had not died, He would not have rose again. We would not have forgiveness and we would not have the promise of eternal life through our resurrection in Him. He has shown us what the real effect of forgiveness is, so we can get bitter and consumed in our hurt and anger, or we can move on as Jesus did. When He moved on, He gave us victory over death and the grave, He gave us eternal life. He didn’t waste His time and effort fighting over the cross, He faithfully followed His Father’s plan. Through that He became Lord of our life, since He paid the price for our life. Most people would have thought Joseph would have been perfectly justified in just wiping out his brothers. “You guys, made my life as a kid miserable, you left me for dead, decided to sell me as a slave, I ended up in an Egyptian prison until God took me and put me where He wanted me.” Joseph knew his place, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God?” He was not going to take revenge, he knew God would be faithful, remember last week’s sermon? “Vengeance is mine says the Lord”? I think we all agreed that God is going to work it out better than me. Joseph followed God’s lead, God had certainly provided for Joseph and now Joseph would provide for his brothers. Israel would grow, the tribes would increase and God would lead them back to the promised land to be a great nation.
How can you take your issues, your anger and bitterness, and instead of using it to return evil for evil, what can you do to glorify God through that. People watch you, you say you are a Christian and then the slightest little hurt, you react with anger and bitterness and you look for a way to hurt the other person. The world sees that and says “yea, big talk from Christians, but when it comes right down to it, they do the same thing we do, if they get slapped, they slap back. So there’s really nothing to this Jesus stuff.” Our witness is very much in what we do in our actions, it’s not easy, it wasn’t easy for Jesus, but to be a Christian is not the easy way. You can just slap back, or you can lift it up to God, let Him deal with it and then let Him guide you to use your hurt and bitterness for good. You can put the best face on what hurt you and forgive. Revenge, anger, payback, frankly I find that a lot of work. I’ve found it’s easier to get past the hurt, find a way to make-up, to put the best face on the issue or other person and get on with what and who is really important, that is Jesus Christ and His church. So how are you going to deal with your hurt feelings? Stay angry and drag everyone down, or find a way to use it to the glory of God?
The peace of God which passes all understanding keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Shalom and Amin.

Unemployment needs to be treated like a full-time job

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As of September 5, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the unemployment rate is 6.1% and there are 9.6 million unemployed people. While the rate is high, historically, it’s much better than it was. However the percentage is really kind of deceiving, the number of people “underemployed” is still estimated to be about 16% and the total raw number of unemployed is the highest in history. Part of that is due to a higher population, but there is still a serious employment problem. A gentleman recently posted in FB: “Don’t forget to stop in at [public area the following day of the post] from 11 am to 1 pm where you can find me on the balcony waiting to meet prospective employers looking for a dedicated, passionate employee to join their team. I’ll have resumes ready to hand out to those who stop by to speak with me. I’m not one to follow “the norm” which is why I decided to use [public place] as an asset in my career search. There isn’t a better place to network than the lunchtime hub of the York business community. Please be sure to share this posting with your friends and read through my other public postings about the recent loss of my job. I’m definitely not wasting any opportunity.”

We recently held a job fair at the church I’m the pastor of we had over 700 people! It was a little unique being right in the downtown area, so there were people there who may not have been able to get out to job fairs that are held on the outside of the city. This is evidence that there are a lot of people that are still looking. This job fair was partly the result of an employment support group that we have been facilitating at the church for about 3 years. Also partnering with some other social service agencies and government entities. One thing I share with people at the employment group is that it is all about networking, that about 70% of jobs are being found by people who are referred by others. It is not job boards, it is not ads! The reality is this, a Human Resources persons has a bunch of tasks to do, hiring is one of them and it’s one they want to deal with as expeditiously as possible. I was on the Board of Directors for a non-profit, volunteer, unpaid, working on my own time. We had to hire a new executive director, one rather innocent ad, produced 100 resumes for a position that was rather unique. Now you can imagine posting a job opportunity for a position that’s rather generic, you are going to get hundreds of resumes. This is going to mean a lot of work for a person that has a lot of things to do and for this position there are a lot of people who are equally suitable to fill the position. People, even now, when there is a little tightening in some areas of the job market, don’t have to go looking for people. They can put out the word in their company or in certain discreet areas and they will get enough suitable resumes in short order. Here’s the deal! You want to find a new job? Get with a group, network with people who know you and can give you good leads. In that group you will be helped to develop some effective strategies. We’ve had about 40 people who have gone through the group, maybe 4 of them never really got anywhere. Yea, modest numbers, but it is effective, we just celebrated one of our members getting a rather upper level job with the commonwealth of Pennsylvania. It was a big win for him and for the group. Be a part of a group, go with what’s worked for others in the group, afterwards continue to support the group and help others to network. I spent 20 years in corporate finance, I spent 29 years in the Coast Guard Reserve doing search and rescue, law enforcement, naval coastal warfare. I’ve always worked in teams, to be a part of a team. It really baffles me how people cannot seem to work as a part of a group, especially those who claim to be “team players” on their resume. There are not a lot of team players out there, I think a lot of people would really benefit from taking time to really learn and support each other instead of thinking they’re the Lone Ranger. You’re making the process a lot harder. Our employment group meets at First St Johns Church 140 W King St York, Pa, Thursday mornings at 11am. It’s up to you, you can sit and wait or you can work on strategies that are going to get you somewhere. HR people are just way too busy to eat lunch, no less go search someone out, they don’t have to, they get plenty of resumes from people who are strategic and systematic in their employment search.

Wired by God, for God

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Interesting how you can hear of the Higgs-Boson particle (yeah, I know what?). The so-called God particle from a year ago, published all over until reporters and editors found out what it really meant, then not so much yada-yada.
But when genuine scientific findings are made confirming over and over how, not only are we designed, but how the entire universe is designed, well that doesn’t get any newspaper ink.
Case in point, the recent “Leadership Journal” (Summer 2014) which goes into detail as to how our brains can be or are wired to be receptive to God.

Leadership Journal develops this rather extensively and it goes into some heavy detail, which I will attempt to lighten. I’m going to do a few blogs on this so that I can digest it betterand hopefully spew it out to you somewhat intelligentyl . I would like to add that if you are in ministry or any kind of lay leadership you really should get Leadership Journal it’s just an outstanding publication.

John Ortberg points out that our brains are wired so that “mostly our behavior does not consist of a series of conscious choices. Mostly, our behavior is governed by habit.” (p 21)
We usually think in terms of “bad habits”, which we all have much too much of. Ortberg points out: “Habits are enormously freeing. They are what allows my body to be driving my car while my mind is planning next week’s sermon.” Yea, right, texting on my phone, shaving, applying makeup, eating a big sloppy burger (not my imagination, I’ve seen each in real life). Point is, there is so much we do in life that doesn’t require us having to make a deliberate action, much of what we do is habit and happens because of conditioning.
“But sin gets into our habits. “…what Paul meant when he talked about sin being ‘in our members.’ He was talking about human beings as embodied creatures – sin is in the habitual patterns that govern what our hands reach to and where our eyes look and words our mouths say. Habits are in our neural pathways. And sin gets in our habits. So sin gets in our neurons.” (p 21)

Quoting St Paul “…there is nothing good in our sinful nature.” Ya, I know a little harsh, but let’s face it, we have developed a lot of bad habits. “Paul is a brilliant student of human life who knows that evil, deceit, arrogance, greed, envy and racism have become ‘second nature’ to us all.” Harsh? Ya, but true. Even our best qualities when you hold them up to the perfection of our God, then ya, our “bad” habits are much more obvious and our good habits, at best, ho hum.

Ortberg notes that our willpower is just not going to cut it. Let’s face it, we try to do it alone and usually we are back to the races. “…acquiring new habits through which we can receive power from God to do what to do what willpower never could.”

Ortberg’s next line is compelling because there has been a long standing belief that the physical really doesn’t affect the spiritual. The physical is certainly about the mind. Is there really any doubt that when we abuse our body it affects our mind. I doubt that anyone would seriously question that physical abuse, bad diet, drugs, lack of exercise, affects the mind, certainly affects the chemical composition of the mind. Couldn’t the physical/mental attributes of the mind, if they are abused, affect our spiritual outlook? Trying to separate the physical/mental/spiritual is just a false paradigm. As Ortberg notes: ” Neuroscience has helped to show the error of any spirituality that divorces our spiritual life from our bodies.”

I say AMEN! There are many belief systems that try to make it just about the spirit, that the body is just a husk. POPPYCOCK. Gnosticism, an heretical Christian belief tries to make the material evil, the spiritual, as it were, good. That when the spiritual separates from the physical then it will be hunky-dorey. That attitude has infused itself through orthodox Christianity. the image of spirit beings sitting on clouds in heaven. Certainly physical beings can’t sit on clouds, but the question is; is heaven the end? Eastern religions believe that once we get it right, we leave the evil of the bodily and the material world and then (yippee, skippee), we become some sort of ethereal being and then drop into the ocean of all ethereal beings where our ethereality (no I doubt seriously that’s a real word) merges us with the universe. Again, yippee, skippee.

Why the gratuitous sarcasm? God created the material and He pronounced it good. This also includes our body which He intended to be perfect, incorruptible and eternal. Where else could it have come from? Unless the rapture happens tomorrow, our body will give out and we will, in the spiritual, be in the presence of the Lord. But again, is that the end? No! Not by a long shot. At the final judgment we will all be restored to physical bodies, those who are in Christ, the “Lamb’s Book of Life” will proceed from the judgment to the New Jerusalem. The New Jerusalem will be the world as God had intended. No doubt, it will be much like the world that we left, but it will be restored to perfection, it will be familiar but it will be restored to a perfection that we can’t imagine. Certainly we will be restored to our physical bodies, again, the way they were intended to be before we messed them up with our sin. These bodies will be strong, healthy, immune to injury or damage. We were made by God to be both physical/mental/spiritual and we will be restored to eternity perfectly in all aspects of our being.

In the meantime we will continue to discuss how the physical/mental changes our spiritual outlook as we continue to affect the mental by our habits old and bad or new and good. OK, at least hopefully.

 

I looked over Jordan and what did I see…

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Well no, it wasn’t angels, but seeing the Jordan River for the first time was a little surprising.

If you’re any kind of student of the Bible you know the Jordan River pops up in Scripture over and over. Joshua led Israel over the Jordan up to John the Baptizer preaching in the Jordan when Jesus said to him: “Let it be so now, for thus it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness.” (Matt 3: 13-17) I’ve always had an image of the Jordan being much grander, bigger. We went to the headwaters of the Jordan, up in the Golan Heights and it was a brook, an impressive brook, but no more than five feet wide. I’ve seen the Mississippi, the Missouri, the Susquehanna, the Hudson River, the East River, heck the Charles River, the Jordan isn’t even close. But in terms of our Lord being baptized in that river, there is nothing even close to the Jordan.

Please let’s start taking marriage and child raising seriously

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The following is from a post from a brother pastor, Eric Ekong.

“Is marriage obsolete? In a recent Pew Research poll, about 40 percent of Americans assert or strongly assert that marriage in America is obsolete. You probably know the dismal stats about the divorce rate in our country. Here are nine reasons people give that might explain the steady collapsing of marriage in America:

—I assume that the relationship is probably going to break up at some point, and the breakup will hurt less if we were never married in the first place.
–Marriage is an exploitative, chauvinistic anachronism that heavily favors patriarchal control. Liberated women will more likely get what they want on their own.
–From the male point of view, women are giving it away these days. You don’t have to commit to her to get sex.
–Single parenthood is the new normal. African-Americans are already there with single-parent birthrates in some places above 70 percent. White folks’ single parenthood stats are following.
–My mom was a single parent, and I turned out fine.
–Marriage is something you can think about when your kids are raised and you are secure in your job.
–Cohabiting preserves your freedom of choice.
–Movies and TV shows relentlessly portray young men as either uneducated, clueless, reckless, socially inept, or violent. Why would any woman want to lock in her life to such a high-risk partner?
–I’m not going to get married until I find the perfect soul mate.

Are these the attitudes you want in your children’s minds? In your grandchildren’s? In your own spouse’s? If you don’t, God has a better way. Let’s give the divine designer a chance to explain to us how to be happily married till death us do part and how to build a family life that will give him glory.”

Me – People love to talk about how smart they are today, when it comes to marriage, commitment, living life in a strong and faithful manner, way too many people, have way too little discernment. How do you think this affects society as a whole? When the burden gets to be too much on those who are trying to live responsible, faithful lives, how do you think it will work out for the rest.

Point one – Yes, I guess if you have a fatalistic view of marriage it will fail. Hey how about this, grow up, make a commitment, live a responsible life and decide that you will make it work. In the meantime stay out of bed with anyone who isn’t your spouse. Oh yeah, I get it, all the excitement, none of the responsibility. How do you really think that’s going to end up?

Marriage is a partnership, that too many men and women today think can be manipulated and played with. How about we all decide to be grown ups and truly commit to what is best for each other and children, and quit playing games. Exploitive? I’m not saying there aren’t bad situations, but the reality is this, the highest rate of poverty is on unmarried mothers. Married women, have a much lower rate of poverty, men will step up and provide. The nasty swill of those people that compose the media love to take isolated situations, make them the rule, distribute their extremely poor “work” to people who gullibly swallow it and there you have it. Broken families, no mutual responsibility and this nonsense that too many women believe that the government will give them all they want. Afterwards and I’ve seen plenty of “afterward” pictures, you have women living in substandard housing with children they can’t keep up with and the spiral continues down and down. Hey there are women that do step up and manage, but I would bet you anything that they would tell you it was much harder then it had to be.

Single-parenting is not a “norm”, it may be the situation, but if people were truly honest about their platitudes “it’s all about the kids”, they would try as much as possible to raise them in a family of a man and a woman. That is how children are raised the best, the research shows it over and over again. There are exceptions, but really, why would you want to try to be the exception, when you can step up and do what’s best for children. Be honest, it’s not about the kids, it’s just about you.

OK, fine, marriage and children are only for when you have a secure home. OK, when do you think that will be? Yea, right, come on. If that’s the standard, then a further standard should be this: “Until such time I am ready to raise children like that, I’m not going to put myself in the position where I could have children.” Yea, people like to get all righteous at one end, then the other end, ahhhh, not so much.

“Cohabiting preserves your freedom of choice.” and “I’m not going to get married until I find the perfect mate.” Seriously? I don’t even know how people can say this with a straight face. Yeah, “choice”, while you’re making your “choices”, what do you think the other person is doing? This is just a recipe for disaster for both of you. The person who says this thinks they’re cool and is showing they’re clueless. The “perfect mate”? There isn’t one and even more ironically, you certainly aren’t the perfect mate either. Hmmm, you want perfect, but you aren’t even close to being able to offer it. Yeah, let me know how that works out.

For a society that loves to tell people how smart they are, wow, “don’t care about tomorrow”, “don’t care about another person”, “don’t care about my kids”, “don’t care about the society I live in”, I could go on and on, but you get the idea. All the research and much more importantly God, emphasizes the importance of the family, of commitment, of sacrifice, of truly living like a mature human being. When you live like a mature human being, and everyone else does, we have a great society and it helps everyone to grow and be secure. When we have a society where everyone says “it’s all about me and the heck with everyone else”, well how do you think that’s going to end up? Find a way to make it happen, quit making excuses, quit trying to have it your way and then stick someone else with the consequences. You may think you’re smarter, but it will catch up to you and then all of a sudden just a world of hurt. And you’re going to sit there wondering why no one will help. Why? Because they’re busy being self-centered and selfish like you’ve been. Not so smart, huh?

Well being, church attendance enhances well being hmmmm

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Gallup research conducts and maintains a “Well-Being Index” on various aspects of Americans well being. Well, well, what do you think they found? “In U.S. Churchgoers Boast Better Mood, especially on Sundays.” (Gallup – Healthways Well-Being Index in 2011) The study was done by Chaeyoon Lim who sub-titled the study “Those who don’t attend religious services often see their mood decline.”

I am not saying that church should always be a “feel-good” experience, frankly if folks left worship from First St Johns and they didn’t feel a little, oh I don’t know, disturbed? If they didn’t feel a little challenged, a little pushed, I’d probably be disappointed. Sure I want people to be pumped up, encouraged, thankful to God and renewed in their relationship with Jesus. Frankly I’m not surprised that they are in a better mood. Even if they’ve been challenged, pushed, they still know whose they are, our Father’s. They know that they are part of the Body of Christ, surrounded by brothers and sisters in Jesus and ready to start a new week in the Lord standing for the Lord in the world. So yes they should leave worship in a “Better Mood”.

“…regular churchgoers seem to do better than non-churchgoers… in terms of their daily positive wellbeing experiences. This underscores previous Gallup research that finds very religious Americans do better across numerous dimensions of well being than do those who are less religious or not at all religious.”

And look, don’t give me any of this “Moonie effect” or other non-sense, there is no doubt in my mind that the general “well-being” of Americans has been directly related to the decrease of community and especially being a part of a church community. This goofy idea that you will be happier sitting at home watching television by yourself, thinking that you are genuinely getting community on your computer, the stories go on and on and you know them as well as I do. The solution, get off your quista and get out among real human beings. As we as a culture continue to cut ourselves off from each other, the worse our life attitude will be. Sit home by ourselves, isolated and vulnerable, Satan picks us off one by one. The Bible tells us two are better than one, we all need others to “have our back”, where better than brothers and sisters in Jesus?

The study goes on to report: “Not only do Americans who attend a church, synagogue or mosque frequently report having higher wellbeing in general, but they also get an extra boost to their emotional state on Sundays – while the rest of Americans see a decline in their mood. The average number of positive emotions frequent churchgoers report experiencing rises up to a high of 3..49 for the week on Sundays, whereas for those who attend church monthly or less often, the average number peaks on Saturdays and declines to a range of 3.14 to 3.29 on Sundays.” Yea, you read that right, on the day before we have to go back to the old salt mine, people who attend worship actually get a bump in their wellbeing. There is a sense of being secure in something bigger, knowing you are with like-minded brothers and sisters in Jesus and the research confirms this: “…the research found that friendship in church is more strongly correlated with life satisfaction than friendships in other contexts such as the workplace or a book club. It is not only that churchgoing Americans may be more likely to socialize on Sundays, but also that they are spending time with co-religionists who can especially boost their mood.”

Let’s face it, church does put you into proximity of people who are like-minded, feel secure being in church and something to readily share with each other. (Hopefully it’s not, ‘wow, pastor’s sermon was brutal today.’) This research lines up with so many other studies that show numerous positive outcomes to church, worship, prayer etc. While the world stresses individuality, isolation, “feeling good” in things such as materialism, covetousness, sex, drugs, booze and rock and roll, the reality is that well being is found in church, in worship, in the presence of those who are brothers and sisters in Christ. It stands to reason, we come into the presence of the almighty Creator, Sustainer of all things. He knows us better than we know ourself, He forgives us, He has given us a way through the sacrifice of Jesus to come into relationship with the all knowing, all powerful Lord of all. We have the assurance that through the forgiveness we have in Christ’s sacrifice that we will have eternal life in a new perfect world, the world that the Father intended before we messed it up with our sin. If all this doesn’t enhance your “well-being” then you need to sit down with your pastor and have a long serious discussion.

Small groups ministry

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I have always had a heart for small group ministry. Corporate worship is vitally important and I’m not saying you should substitute corporate worship for a small group, frankly that would be like working out, but then not eating right. Yea, small groups can be a workout, but the way we truly feed on the Word and of course the Body and Blood of Jesus is done in corporate worship.

In the most recent issue of Christian Counseling Today Jennifer Cisney Ellers wrote a great article condensing the benefits of small groups. “We, as Christian caregivers, cannot ‘heal’ anyone, but we can create an environment and opportunity for individuals to encounter Christ in real and personal ways. We can provide people with the chance to be ‘Christlike’ in our interactions with each other and model agape love. I believe that small groups offer one of the most profound opportunities for the Holy Spirit to work in the hearts and lives of Christians.” Think of it as taking what you receive from God in worship and then applying it in a more open forum with everyone in the group. At some point everyone in that group, you included, are going to need that “agape” love from others in the group. Seriously, where else do you think you are going to get that anywhere else in the world?

Please read the following with an open-mind, small groups really are so important. Guys, you need a group where you can be encouraged, strengthened, mentored. Too many guys think that they can handle everything on their own, despite the fact they’ve never had to deal with it, no one’s ever given them any information or guidance and, big guy, if you really are serious about your family, being a great husband and father, doesn’t your wife and children need your best effort? Part of that should be getting help and guidance from other Christian men. Right? We are pulling together a men’s group at First St Johns, we will need a lot of help to get going, so please be one of those guys who steps up if you live in the York, Pa. area. Otherwise find a good group in your area or better yet, get together with your pastor and let him know what you’d like to do. We already have a great women’s group at First St Johns, and we have other groups like “Discipling”, “Grief Share”, Employment Support, Prayer Group, Sunday Bible Study, so if you are local here, please don’t hesitate to be a part of great groups.

Jennifer Ellers goes on to enumerate the benefits of small groups:

  • Universality: Small groups reinforce the sense that we are connected to others through common experiences and shared feelings. When others describe emotions similar to what another member is going through, their sense of isolation is diminished and they experience connection.
  • Altruism: Small groups provide the opportunity for members to share themselves and help others. Many studies have shown the power of offering assistance to others to improve self-esteem.
  • Instillation of hope: When people see others moving through difficult situations and healing, they believe it is possible for them as well.
  • Imparting information: People in small groups share practical information about what has been helpful or harmful to them. Group members have the opportunity to learn from the experiences of others.
  • Development of social skills or ‘socializing techniques’: Group members can learn and practice social and interpersonal skills in the safe and supervised environment of the group. They can learn how their actions and interactions are perceived by others and discover new ways of interacting when their current behaviors are not getting the desired outcome.
  • intimate behavior: Groups offer modeling, by leaders and other group members, of critical social skills – such as sharing feelings, handling criticism or conflict and offering support.
  • Cohesiveness: One of the most important healing factors in any small group experience is for group members to experience a sense of cohesiveness or belonging. This happens when members feel acceptance and validation.
  • Existential factors: Small groups can help members see a ‘big picture’ of life in terms of meaning and purpose.
  • Catharsis: Groups provide a safe atmosphere to let out deep emotions and painful experiences. Expressing emotions in front of others and having those feelings validated decreases levels of stress, tension and pain.
  • Interpersonal learning and self-understanding: Small group members may have a clearer view and the ability to learn when they see themselves in others or reflect how others see them. These two factors overlap and interact, but also provide an opportunity for increased self-awareness for all group members. (Jennifer Cisney Ellers  Christian Counseling Today Vol 20 No 4 pp 20-21)

These are the benefits to a small group. It’s sort of a workplace mantra to “not reinvent the wheel”, point taken in the work world. Why wouldn’t we benefit from the experiences of mature Christians in their interpersonal relations? Bear in mind that small groups need time to grow in a lot of ways; trust, cohesiveness, maturity, etc. If you do make a commitment to a group do it with the intent that you will give as much as get, that you want to be a better Christian disciple as well as Christian spouse, parent, child, employee, etc.

God lives in community, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, we live in community with the Trinitarian God, and we live in community with the Body of Christ, our church, our brothers and sisters in Jesus. A body cannot live in isolation from other parts of the body, to be strong, healthy Christians. To be part of a strong, healthy church we need to be part of a Christian group where we can grow and where we can help brothers and sisters in Jesus to grow.

Please check out some of the groups at First St Johns, if you have an idea please let me know. Believe me, I will go to great extents to do whatever I can to help build strong Christian brothers and sisters to be part of strong groups of Christians. But make a commitment to be a part of a Christian small group and grow as a mature Christian disciple.