I’ve been reading Jeffrey Hemmer’s book “Man Up! The quest for masculinity” Concordia Publishing House 2017 p 191.
Before you pooh-pooh and dismiss, consider what is really being said. The culture loves to talk love, love. But what does that really mean? This is a discussion when I do pre-marital counseling. Regarding Ephesians 5:24 – 26. “Now as the church submits to Christ so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ya, I know, blah-blah, horror of horrors. The culture is absolutely appalled, anyway. In this we are talking the deepest of love. Does Jesus abuse the church in anyway in submission. If the church wants to leave, so be it, but the church condemns itself. But if we are saved because of what Jesus did, that He suffered and gave His life as the perfect sacrifice for our sins, shouldn’t we honor Jesus for what He has done and submit to Him, knowing that it is for our best interests that He died.
So for the husband, in order to expect to be followed, as any good leader should do, the husband acts in the best interests of his wife, of their family. That means up to suffering and even sacrificing his life. If he fails in that he certainly can’t expect to be followed as we certainly follow Jesus.
Hemmer quotes John Chrysostom, his nickname was “golden mouthed”, he is considered if not the best, among the best preacher in the Christian church:
“Thou hast seen the measure of obedience, hear also the measure of love. Wouldest thou have thy wife obedient unto thee, as the Church is to Christ? Taken then thyself the same provident care for her, as Christ takes for the Church. Yea, even if it shall be needful for thee to give thy life for her, yea, and to be cut into pieces ten thousand times, yea, and to endure and undergo any suffering whatever, – refuse it not. Although thou shouldest undergo all this, yet wilt thou not, no, not even then, have done anything like Christ. For thou indeed art doing it for one to whom thou art already knit; but He for one who turned her back on Him and hated Him. In the same way then as He laid at His feet her who turned her back on Him, who hated, and spurned and disdained Him, not by menaces, nor by violence, nor by terror, nor by anything else of the kind, but by his unwearied affection; so also do thou behave thyself toward thy wife. Yea, though thou see her looking down upon thee, and disdaining, and scorning thee, yet by thy great thoughtfulness for her, by affection, by kindness, thou will be able to lay her at thy feet”
This all means that husband and wife are always to put the others needs first. Does that happen all the time? A lot of times? Many times? No, both sides, then we wonder why the marriage breaks down. Husbands you have to step up and really “Man up”. Wives, wouldn’t you honor that when you see your husband goes to the ultimate lengths to serve you as Christ served the church?
True confidence—as opposed to the false confidence people project to mask their insecurities—has a look all its own. One thing is certain: truly confident people always have the upper hand over the doubtful and the skittish because they inspire others and they make things happen.
Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right. – Henry Ford
Ford’s notion that your mentality has a powerful effect on your ability to succeed is seen in the results of a recent study at the University of Melbourne that showed that confident people earn higher wages and get promoted more quickly than anyone else.
Indeed, confident people have a profound impact on everyone they encounter. Yet, they achieve this only because they exert so much influence inside, on themselves.
We see only their outside. We see them innovate, speak their mind, and propel themselves forward toward bigger and better things.
And, yet, we’re missing the best part.
We don’t see the habits they develop to become so confident. It’s a labor of love that they pursue behind the scenes, every single day.
And while what people are influenced by changes with the season, the unique habits of truly confident people remain constant. Their focused pursuit is driven by these habits that you can emulate and absorb:
They speak with certainty. It’s rare to hear the truly confident utter phrases such as “Um,” “I’m not sure,” and “I think.” Confident people speak assertively because they know that it’s difficult to get people to listen to you if you can’t deliver your ideas with conviction.
They seek out small victories. Confident people like to challenge themselves and compete, even when their efforts yield small victories. Small victories build new androgen receptors in the areas of the brain responsible for reward and motivation. The increase in androgen receptors increases the influence of testosterone, which further increases their confidence and eagerness to tackle future challenges. When you have a series of small victories, the boost in your confidence can last for months.
They exercise. A study conducted at the Eastern Ontario Research Institute found that people who exercised twice a week for 10 weeks felt more competent socially, academically, and athletically. They also rated their body image and self-esteem higher. Best of all, rather than the physical changes in their bodies being responsible for the uptick in confidence, it was the immediate, endorphin-fueled positivity from exercise that made all the difference.
They don’t seek attention. People are turned off by those who are desperate for attention. Confident people know that being yourself is much more effective than trying to prove that you’re important. People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more attracted to the right attitude than what, or how many, people you know. Confident people always seem to bring the right attitude.
Confident people are masters of attention diffusion. When they’re receiving attention for an accomplishment, they quickly shift the focus to all the people who worked hard to help get them there. They don’t crave approval or praise because they draw their self-worth from within.
They don’t pass judgment. Confident people don’t pass judgment on others because they know that everyone has something to offer, and they don’t need to take other people down a notch in order to feel good about themselves. Comparing yourself to other people is limiting. Confident people don’t waste time sizing people up and worrying about whether or not they measure up to everyone they meet.
They get their happiness from within. Happiness is a critical element of confidence, because in order to be confident in what you do, you have to be happy with who you are. People who brim with confidence derive their sense of pleasure and satisfaction from their own accomplishments, as opposed to what other people think of their accomplishments.
They listen more than they speak. People with confidence listen more than they speak because they don’t feel as though they have anything to prove. Confident people know that by actively listening and paying attention to others, they are much more likely to learn and grow. Instead of seeing interactions as opportunities to prove themselves to others, they focus on the interaction itself, because they know that this is a far more enjoyable and productive approach to people.
They take risks. When confident people see an opportunity, they take it. Instead of worrying about what could go wrong, they ask themselves, “What’s stopping me? Why can’t I do that?” and they go for it. Fear doesn’t hold them back because they know that if they never try, they will never succeed.
They aren’t afraid to be wrong. Confident people aren’t afraid to be proven wrong. They like putting their opinions out there to see if they hold up because they learn a lot from the times they are wrong and other people learn from them when they’re right. Self-assured people know what they are capable of and don’t treat being wrong as a personal slight.
They celebrate other people’s successes. Insecure people constantly doubt their relevance, and because of this, they try to steal the spotlight and criticize others in order to prove their worth. Confident people, on the other hand, aren’t worried about their relevance because they draw their self-worth from within. Instead of insecurely focusing inward, confident people focus outward, which allows them to see all the wonderful things that other people bring to the table. Praising people for their contributions is a natural result of this.
Bringing It All Together
Building confidence is a journey, not a destination. To become more confident you must be passionate in your pursuit of a greater future.
Please share your thoughts on confidence in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the cofounder of TalentSmart, the world’s leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry has written for, or been covered by, Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Harvard Business Review.
There is a common saying among real estate investors, “Review 100 deals, make offers on 10, purchase 1.”
When I first began investing in real estate, I could not see how this could possibly be true. Who really goes and looks at 100 properties just to get a single deal?
It wasn’t until I was speaking with a fellow investor that I learned my mistake: you don’t physically need to see 100 deals in person, you just need to find 100 deals to evaluate. Obviously it takes time to evaluate 100 deals, so it makes sense to find a way to quickly evaluate deals.
I ended up creating a spreadsheet for quickly evaluating deals. Many of the formulas that I used came from the book “What Every Real Estate Investor Needs to Know About Cash Flow… And 36 Other Key Financial Measures”. My goal was to be able to enter a few pieces of data and quickly analyze a property using multiple formulas. I then wanted a quick way to determine if the property was worth a further look. Below is the breakdown of the spreadsheet that I currently use.
The first section is pretty straightforward. Enter basic information about the property. Orange cells require user entry.
The second section gets into more of the financials. Again orange cells need to be entered. Gray cells with orange text are calculated and black cells do not apply. This section contains information about the property itself, the funding to purchase it and the cost to renovate it.
This section contains information about the number of rentable units and the going rate for rent in the area. It then calculates various relevant information about the rental financials.
Since the point of this sheet initially is to be a quick way to evaluate deals, we use 50% as the operating expenses for the property. This gives us a high level idea of how the investment looks. I like to target at least $100 estimated cashflow per unit.
Calculated Financials (Optional at this point)
As a later step if you want to further evaluate the deal, I have a second sheet where you can break down the operating expenses, which will give you a calculation based on the actual numbers you enter for each line item. I skip this step when doing the initial analysis.
This section contains some additional information which may be relevant to you.
Should You Purchase the Property?
And now the magic. The numbers on the page give you a lot of information, but do not make it clear if you should pursue the property. I have determined 3 criteria that I want my properties to achieve in order to pursue them.
Monthly rent (GSI) should exceed 2% of the purchase price (+ renovations)
Cashflow should be $100+ per unit
The debt coverage ratio should be greater than 1.2
Because you entered all of the information above in order to calculate these values, the spreadsheet will now tell you in simple terms if you should purchase the property.
If one of the values did not meet my criteria, it show up as red and provides a different recommendation.
What I love about this spreadsheet is how much data it generates and how easy it makes scanning through potential deals. I have added a ton of additional functionality to provide further analysis if I decide to purchase the property, which I will outline in a future blog post.
Here is what the first tab of the spreadsheet looks like put together.
Jerome’s Latin translation of the Greek metanoeo / μετανοεω was a mistake. The Latin was “do penance” and developed into doing external deeds that the priest said, like crawl up steps and say 100 hail Mary’s or give money to the poor or the church for forgiveness. That is wrong. “Repent” is an internal turning from sin to God that includes a godly sorrow that leads to change and salvation.
Also, Jerome’s translation from Greek into the Latin word for justification was wrong also. (the Greek is: “the count righteous / just / right” but the Latin had more the idea of “to make righteous / just / right”. These 2 mistakes in translation and relying upon them (rather than the original Greek) for centuries is just one of the problems of what later became the Roman Catholic Church.
Researchers out of the McCombs School of Business at the University of Texas, Austin, investigated four groups of professionals—police officers, financial advisers, white-collar criminals, and senior executives—who used the Ashley Madison marital affair website. They looked at the records of more than 11,000 people in these job categories, and found that those who had accounts on the affair-seeking site were more than twice as likely to engage in professional misconduct. The definition of misconduct varied from colleague complaints to class action lawsuits, financial misstatements, insider trading, Ponzi schemes, and other types of fraud.
“This is the first study that’s been able to look at whether there is a correlation between personal infidelity and professional conduct,” Samuel Kruger, a finance professor at the McCombs School of Business and lead author of the study, said in a press release. “We find a strong correlation, which tells us that infidelity is informative about expected professional conduct.”
It might not seem too surprising to find out that people who are willing to break their wedding vows and also willing to bend the rules at work. But, as noted in the study, there is a “long-standing debate in philosophy and psychology regarding the extent to which behavior and ethics are situational.” As the researchers explain, “it is common to assume that there are different standards for private relationships compared with ‘business ethics.'” But it turns out, that assumption would be incorrect.
These new findings indicate that, when it comes to personality traits like honesty and trustworthiness, the line between the personal and the professional is a lot blurrier than previously believed.
To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to follow us on Instagram! DIANA BRUKDiana is a senior editor who writes about sex and relationships, modern dating trends, and health and wellness. Read more
A majority of Americans, 52%, agree with the statement, “Jesus was a great teacher, but he was not God.” That’s not surprising. But what is surprising is that nearly one-in-three (30%) of evangelical Christians also agree in rejecting the deity of Christ.
That is one of the findings of the State of Theology study sponsored by Ligonier Ministries, the Reformed ministry founded by the late R. C. Sproul, and carried out by the Baptist LifeWay research group. It surveys both the general public and evangelical Christians on a wide range of theological beliefs. You can browse the questions and the findings here. You can also break down the data demographically.
There is a wealth of fascinating information in this study–some of which is encouraging–but I want to focus on the finding that so many evangelicals do not believe in the deity of Christ. Even among those who do, a large number are evidently heretics. In fact, a majority of evangelicals, 55%, agree with the statement “Jesus is the first and greatest being created by God.” The notion that Jesus was created, as opposed to being the eternally-existing Son of God, was a key tenet of Arianism, the heresy dealt with by the Council of Nicaea, whose creed confesses that He is “begotten, not made.”
Perhaps such inconsistency is just an example of theological illiteracy. Some of the questions might be taken in different ways and reflect controversies within particular theological traditions, though these responses to the identity of Christ are pretty straightforward. And getting the identity of Christ wrong should be a serious concern. After all, “faith” requires both trust and belief, and belief requires someone or something to believe in. So faith in Christ should entail a true belief in who He is.
The State of Theology study has been conducted every two years since 2014, so, though not all of the questions are the same, we can see changes data over time. There are even some slight improvements on some conservative Christian issues: a growing awareness of sin, stronger adherence to the Bible, a decrease in the belief in “gender fluidity,” a decrease in syncretism, the view that all religions are equally valid. But the study also shows lots of confusion and outright doctrinal errors.
One feature of the study that you might make good use of is the free Create Your Own Group Survey. You can ask your friends, family members, congregation, or church body to take the survey. A link will be generated and the members of the group can anonymously answer the survey on line, whereupon the results will also appear online, accessible only to the group.
I’d be curious how my fellow members of the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod–who would fall under the definition of “evangelical” as defined by the study (see the very end of the introductory report)–would answer these questions. Many evangelicals don’t use creeds, catechisms, or doctrinal statements, and we see in this report the results of that. We Lutherans don’t have that excuse.
I want to thank Mark Berry and Chesapeake College for the invitation, I appreciate the opportunity to talk about my 9/11 experience. My name is Jim Driskell, I realized that this was the first time I really wrote, kind of relived the whole experience. Since this time, I have switched careers, again, I’ve been a Lutheran Church pastor for ten years, and I’m at Trinity Lutheran Church in Chestertown, 101 Greenwood Av, Sunday worship is at 10am, hope you can stop and check it out.
It was just another rock and rolling day at my office half a block from Boston Common, nothing to indicate that it was going to be such a profound time of change for so many people. It really was for me. I had been working in corporate finance for 20 years, and God gave me great opportunities to work for companies like Chase Manhattan, Motorola, Fleet National Bank, Entex Information, Town and Country all large corporations that gave me a lot of great experience and opportunities.
At the same time I had been serving in the Coast Guard reserve since 1976. Corporate America is not very supportive of military reservists, as I found out from my employer at the time. But in the 25 years I had served we managed to work it out. Motorola was pretty supportive.
Like most, someone said it was on television, but just assumed it was a goofy accident and I had a lot of work to do, as usual. But in the next couple of hours we all knew that this was a very profound incident and then we heard about the pentagon and then a crash in Pennsylvania. It really felt as if we were under attack, that somehow more planes would explode somewhere else, then we found out one of the flights left from Portland, Me, which is where my father’s family is from and we had lived there at times, landed in Boston then flew to NYC. Needless to say there was every reason to think that since DC had been hit, NYC had been hit, that either Philadelphia or Boston, more likely Boston since that’s where the flight came from.
About noon it was announced that everyone who didn’t live there had to leave the city and it might be a good idea for anyone else who wanted to leave also, mass transit was closing at 2pm. That was the most specific thing I remember about that day, there was very little vehicle traffic, offices just emptied out and I was part of a large group headed to South Station for the train or subway. At the same time, doing my best to keep off my cell phone, keep it charged because I was already told to keep my cell phone on and clear for when, not if we were mobilized. The unit I was in was a composite unit with the Navy that was deployable anywhere to any major harbor city CONUS or OCONUS. The unit I was in, was classified, so any chatter or any guesses were really discouraged and was frankly pointless because no one, even at the highest levels knew how this was going to play.
In leaving Boston, it was just a mass of people moving right along, no chatter, no poking along, waiting for lights or traffic. It was calm, but pretty determined, we all knew how we wanted to leave, we wanted to get there and put it in the rear-view mirror. There really wasn’t any obvious fear, but people were nervous and it seemed that any nervous energy was being used to get people where they needed to be. In addition, Logan Airport was right across the Harbor from South Station, wasn’t unusual to be walking to or from and have a jet come so close you could reach up and touch it. There was always air traffic over your head going into Logan. But not that day, so it was an almost eerie experience with a crowd of people making very little noise, almost no vehicle traffic and no aircraft traffic, there has to be a Steven King movie like that, but I’ve never seen it.
It was about a month when we were called up. The unit was based in Newport RI, just far enough that it wasn’t really practical to drive back and forth from home, and frankly there was a lot of work to be done and I just as well stay in Newport in case things did start happening. I would love to tell you that we were sent to a JRAC somewhere near where things were happening, but not the case. We were deployed to Spain to do force protection for a NATO exercise because at this port security was at its highest. When we would drive in to Newport, which is generally pretty fancy, it’s the site of the Naval Surface Warfare College, you get people from allied nations around the world there, but now you were being greeted by M60 emplacements and sentries in battle gear. No one was playing.
The Coast Guard heavily recruits civilian police and firefighters, so I did know people in the city. One a police officer Sgt NYPD was part of our unit, so he was accounted for. Another one was an NYC firefighter and early on it was known that FDNY had taken a big toll. I roomed with this guy at the National Motor Life Boat School on the Columbia River, so we got to be good friends, it took me about a week to get him on the phone. Another former member of the NCW unit had been relocated to the Pentagon it took about five days to get hold of him. Anyone else I heard from pretty quickly. The Spain deployment was pretty interesting, it was an interesting part of Spain to be in, Taragona, and it was also a little bit hairy there. It was a rather Muslim part of the country there was still Muslim architecture from the period before the 1500s, and about two months after we left the Madrid train station was blown up. So it was known that there was an active threat there. We had done our best being a hard target with a large Army security force for landward protection and we were there for seaward protection and moving Navy support vessels in and out.
After we returned to CONUS and I moved back into blue-suit Coast Guard I was called to be a part of the Small Boat Tactical Team which the First District had organized to provide mobile security in areas from New Jersey to Northern Maine. They wanted active security for subs coming into Groton , Ct, for LNP tankers going into Providence and also a lot of the bigger civilian vessels like cruise ships going in and out of Maine, the ferrys leaving the Cape to Nantucket and Martha’s Vineyard and other HIVs. We spent time driving around New England, one time we stayed in a barn on the Cape.
After the summer of 2002 things started to settle down and I was moved back to the station I had been at for twenty years. I knew that that point that this was my retirement tour and it was really nice to be at a place I had been associated with since I was seventeen years old. It was a very hectic time, the summer before I had been on Vieques an island off of Puerto Rico keeping demonstrators out of the Navy firing range associated with Roosevelt Roads. Then back to Newport RI, then a week for Port Security College in Norfolk in December, then Taragona for a couple of months, then back in New England going all around New England, then back at my conventional long time stomping grounds. Did shut down a bridge New Years Eve 2002. There was a suspicious pack strapped to the bridge’s support, neither the local police or we knew why that would be there. So me, former NCW and another guy former long-time Marine, the closest the station had to anyone associated with explosives. We got there tried to figure it out and as all good government officials, we decided to call back and tell them they should close the bridge which was not only a significant bridge in and out of Boston, but there was a commuter ferry that we held up because it had to go under the bridge and we pulled the plug on everything, being early evening New Year’s Eve, we got some interesting feed back from the people around us. One of the last things I did was to be a part of a boat crew to run security in New York Harbor. They needed extra people to support the people stationed in there, so we spent time going back and forth to Staten Island, around the Statue of Liberty, up the East River, the Hudson, all through Northern Jersey. A few months later I retired from the Coast Guard. Miss it. The Coast Guard has many missions and especially for people in my rate, get the opportunity to do a lot of different things and in twenty-nine years I got to cover pretty much all of them.