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Prayer, the Holy Spirit can guide our prayer

This discussion has come up in a few different places for me and when that happens, I really feel led to write about it.

Prayer in general is a subject that I like to discuss, encourage, preach on. I’ve preached a few times in my short time in ministry, I’ve written in other venues, we have a monthly prayer breakfast (last Tuesday of every month at the church starting at 8:30 am, no charge, no obligation, breakfast is always great, come and check it out), we have our prayer chapel, we have a prayer meeting Sunday afternoon at 1:30, so yea, we are serious about prayer and I’m always looking for new prayer opportunities. Please feel free to e-mail me with your prayer requests and I will include them in our prayers during worship, our prayer meeting and prayer breakfast, better yet, bring them with you.

Mark Myers in Christian Counseling Today (Vol 20 No 3 pp 62-65) writes about something that I’ve had people, frankly even myself raise as an issue relating to prayer. Quite often I will be praying and then it seems as if I am not focusing on what I “should” be praying on and I’m drifting off somewhere else. Dr Myers writes that his parishioners bring this to him also: “As I understood them, continual distractions and worry of their situations made them feel disconnected from God. It could be that this psychological entanglement, or lack of being present, in say, prayer, is a key factor in our growth as Christians.” (p 65)

Let’s face it, when we start in prayer, we have an agenda, “I need to sit down and pray…” For too many of us, prayer is a one-way communication where we take our concerns to God and the heavenly transcriptionist takes them down, reads them back to Father, and then we presume He acts according to our directions. We think that God should understand how good intentioned we are and He should just jump right on those prayer requests, when He doesn’t, well then He hasn’t “answered” our prayer. God always answers prayer, it may not be according to our plan, but hey, God knows everything, He has things planned out and he is going to proceed according to His plans. Can we intercede, can we plead with God? Certainly! The Bible has instances of that. But God always answers prayer, sometimes it is yes, sometimes it’s no and sometimes it’s wait. Part of faith is that we trust God’s plan and when we really think about it, God’s plan is always better then ours and afterwards we look back (as I often have) and praise God. I’ve felt it so many times, “wow, that was so cool, I’d have never thought of that”. Yea, that’s why He’s God and I’m not and that’s a very good thing.

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In respect to being “distracted” during prayer and as I said, I’ve had the same thing a lot too, I submit that maybe this is the Holy Spirit moving you to focus on what He wants you to focus on. Is it possible that we think we should go into prayer with some kind of agenda? And that we have to stick to that agenda?

Dr Myers’ article is about research that’s been done, that he’s been involved with, regarding “mindfulness”, to the effect that it’s dealing with where/what/how you are at the moment. That you focus on what you are at that point, the thoughts that come in to our mind and do it in a “non-condemning” manner. Now I do have some reservations, I do understand where Dr Myers is coming from, that we should leave ourselves open to the Holy Spirit. Too often we get so caught up in our current situation and we let that consume us. We ignore what is going on around us, we lose any empathy with anyone else, we are sure that everything is tied up in this issue and we get very tunnel visioned. It’s happened to me, I’m sure you can see how this would happen. In the meantime, the Holy Spirit is trying to move you along or perhaps get you to shift your focus or broaden your field of vision.

Now my reservation is this, you really have to be discerning. When we are in prayer we are dealing with the spiritual, I would add to Dr Myers article that when you start to pray, that you ask for the leading of the Holy Spirit, that you are praying in the Name of Jesus Christ and you are looking for leading in prayer to God the Father. I’m not trying to weird anyone out, but as I said, you are dealing with the spiritual, when you are in Christ, when you are making it clear that you are looking for the leading of the Holy Spirit, you are making it clear that is what you expect. Too many people immature in the faith, if at all in the faith, rely on guidance of the spiritual that they may not even understand or identify. Guided prayer does keep us focused on God, but the point is to try and be open to the Holy Spirit’s leading and not always coming to God with your own agenda.

In Psalm 46, we are told “be still and know that I am God”. Elijah was told to wait on the still small voice. Too often we expect an answer to our concerns, that what we think is important should be dealt with and not only that the answer should be announced through a bull horn or written across the sky. Come on, you know you do.

As I said, pray in the Name of Jesus and then wait, be still, know when God is speaking or leading, wait on that still small voice. You may have a lot on your heart, we usually do, at some point maybe we need to lay it at God’s feet and let Him work things out for us. We think we know the way life should play out, we have our priorities, let’s submit them to God and let Him sort them out.

First pray, take the time to come before the Lord and lift up your heart to Him. But once in awhile let the Holy Spirit take the lead. Trust in Him to show you what He wants for you, we have a great God who loves us more profoundly that we could ever even begin to understand. He loves us so much, He gave His only Son in order for us to be saved from our sins and to give us the promise of eternal life. Maybe we could trust Him with our prayers? So offer confession, certainly glorify and give thanksgiving, even offer intercession, but then wait on that small, still voice, wait for the Holy Spirit to guide your thoughts. I bet He will answer prayers you never even thought to raise up. God bless, please send your prayer requests to First St Johns, to me as the pastor, come to our prayer breakfasts, please feel free to come and use our prayer room, even worship with us 10:30 Sunday mornings, 140 W King St., downtown York.

Strive in life for you and to honor God

I am writing this as an encouragement, I hope people will feel motivated to put aside their pride, their inhibitions, their fear of what others think. Ministry has taught me a lot of things, I was first ordained three years ago, so this is still a new experience for me and giving me a much different perspective on life.

I understand we have our dignity, we have an expectation of how we want people to perceive us. On the other hand, I think that people deprive themselves of experiences, challenges, activities that may seem undignified, or out of their station, but in the long run helps them to grow and actually helps them to gain respect from others. One person told me at church that they realize they don’t sing well, but when they are in church they feel the Spirit moving them to sing out in celebration, one time a person sitting in front of them turned and looked at them during singing to make it plain they were less then impressed by their ability. As might be expected they felt less motivated to sing and stifled their enthusiasm. But since they’ve heard me, they’ve been encouraged to belt it out again. Hmmm, not sure how to take that. I had a pastor, a grand old pastor was a chaplain in Italy during World War II, a real Father Flanagan type, but the man could not carry a tune in a bucket. As pastors are wont to do during a hymn, if the congregation wasn’t up to speed, he would chime in. He did nothing to help with the melody, but he did help a great deal with helping those who were otherwise preoccupied with their dignity. He taught all of us, we’re not there for our dignity, we are there to make a joyous noise to the Lord. Sure we’d all like to sound like the Brooklyn Tabernacle, but you know what we’re going to sound like if we are more concerned with praising the Lord and not others opinion? We are going to sound like joyous Christians, lifting our Lord up in the praise that we should surely offer to Him.

I have pretty much spent my whole life not being terribly concerned with others opinions and even before I was a Christian I look back and see where the Lord has led me. Going back to my school years, I jumped into activities that no one gave me any encouragement for and I had no apparent talent for. I don’t regret any of them and they were great learning experiences. Children, and yes I mean anyone under at least 21 years of age, being the rather narrow minded, provincial and judgmental as they are (I know, that is so contrary to  worldly opinion, but it’s so true, who of us would voluntarily go back and redo Junior High School, yea, I rest my case). Anyway, they made it plain how little they thought of my endeavors and made my life pretty difficult. I grew up in the same town that Rocky Marciano and Marvin Hagler grew up in, they are both world champion boxers, as you can imagine not a gentle place. But while the indignities of high school have faded, the endeavors have always had a warm spot in my soul.

Growing up I joined the Coast Guard reserve without any initial intention, had many great adventures that I’ve shared many times. I also started doing triathlons. Other than a very modest amount of talent in football, my athletic ability is lacking, most would describe it as non-existent. But I do like to compete, I like the way I feel after I’ve pushed myself, I like the confidence that it has helped me to develop. I’ve never done longer then International Distance Triathlons, and my first few I pretty much noddled my way through, but I’ve done 52 triathlons and have finished every one and never last. OK, that’s the highlights, my only real remaining goals are to do races in as many states, countries, as I can. Which I’ve actually got a shot at making a respectable dent in.

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I had been consistently playing pickup basketball since pre-teen, The only good thing I can say, well to quote Monty Python “I got better”. But never anything approaching good. Despite that at the advanced age of 47, I decided to go out for my seminary’s basketball team. There were many who were not happy about me being there (there were many who were not happy about, again at my advanced age, being at seminary at all). I did go out, I did make it and I did get to play. We played teams up to division II NCAA teams. My only career field goal, was against a division II team. An isolated, but notable achievement. I went out for the bike club at seminary, let’s just say that didn’t go anywhere. But then I went out for cross-country, oh yeah, my physique on a cross-country team attracted some attention. But my team mates were great, always encouraging me, I believe we even won an event that I participated in. The other guys on the teams were really good cross-country runners and great Christian brothers and sisters.

Point is, God put us on this planet to live life. He gave me absolutely no talent, which to this day I still manage to survive with no discernable talent and even to thrive. He got me through seminary to earn a Masters of Divinity degree, and put me in a historic church with a really great group of brothers and sisters in Jesus. Don’t sell yourself short, if an old, ugly, fat guy like me, can, by the grace and strength of God, do the things I do into my mid-fifties, why would you who are probably much more talented sell yourself short? I’ve always known groups of people that really matter, these are the ones that do the things that really matter. Yes many of those people are Christians and they are led by the Holy Spirit to do great things for the Kingdom. These are often things that other people snicker at and wonder out loud, how can you do that? But those special kind of people who matter, they are there to encourage and join with you in your victories no matter how modest.

Being in the Coast Guard for 29 years, I had to stay in condition, first to maintain my weight and also to maintain the strength and stamina necessary to do what I did. I still maintain those habits and they serve me well in the ministry. I am able to encourage people, look it really doesn’t hurt to sing out or to join in. A “skill” I learned in the Coast Guard was kick-boxing, another skill that I share at church

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It’s good for conditioning, weight management and building confidence and when it comes right down to it, we are God’s creation, our bodies are given to us by God. We are called to be stewards of all the things that God gives us and that certainly includes our bodies. We are called in faith to following the leading of the Holy Spirit. That might include things that might be considered unconventional, maybe it included singing, maybe it means getting involved in sports or in other people’s lives in sports. Maybe it includes serving the least of those, those in prison, those who are our neighbors and confront difficulties, those dealing with substance abuse problems, on and on. There will be people whose opinions you always respect, who’ve earned that respect. But for the most part you just don’t need to concern yourself with what other people think. God gives you a lot of opportunities to go way beyond the common, the ordinary. You might think doing a triathlon is stupid, for you, but start training, start watching your diet, read on how to do and what to do. Give it a chance, give yourself a chance to do things in your life. You owe it to you, to God who has given you the intelligence, the strength, stamina, health, fortitude to live above the common to the glory of God.

Despite my less than sparkling accomplishments, I still try to honor the Father by maintaining the body he gave me. I think I make a good witness to God by, at least trying to present the best physical appearance I can. I know that despite limitations, I can do things that are impressive and by doing that God encourages me to go farther for Him in the Kingdom.

Please, please, please don’t deprive yourself, no one may be impressed about your performance in a triathlon, but I will be, or basketball, or gourmet cooking, or child rearing, auto mechanics, ballroom dancing, cable stitching, but challenge yourself, push yourself, and honor God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, through the feats you accomplish to achieve for yourself and for the Kingdom and God bless you, please let me know what you ended up doing, I can’t wait to hear from you. By the way, my next goal is to do the Bermuda Triathlon, I really do stink, but if you’re interested in sponsoring me, let me know. Ya, I’m not going to hold my breath waiting, but hey, can’t blame me for trying.

Love of Christ in Christmas and year round

 

Love of Christ in Christmas and Year Round

First St Johns    January 5, 2014

We make our beginning in the Name of God the Father and in the Name of God,    and all those who go into the world with the love of Christ said … AMEN and remember together that Christ is born

We are still in the Christmas season, the most celebrated occasion on the Christian calendar, a new baby, new hope, but it is also a time that we remember that “today is the day of salvation and that the Lord can wrap up history whenever He likes, or as Jesus says, ‘What I say to you, I say to all: watch” Mark 13:37 NKJV)”[1]  We have great joy and celebration. While we don’t really think of it in these terms we should remember that Jesus’ second coming will be at least as much a time of joy and celebration as His first coming. Christmas certainly brings us the time of the new Hope “For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord”, the shepherds who heard those words knew full well what that meant, the angels used the word Christ, in Greek Xristos, in Hebrew Meshiach, the anointed one, the delivered, the promised one of God. This was the beginning of the new era, in Christ, in the anointed one, we are reconciled with God, before man was lost in their sins. Man could not rely on the Savior to know his God, to know salvation. Finally in the fullness of time God sent His Son and through Him we are saved, maybe not according to the hopes of first century Judaism, which if those hopes were fulfilled certainly would not have saved everyone, a new David, a new political state might have somehow benefitted most people, but the bottom of that society would have drudged along and died, lost forever, as would all, a political salvation is nice, for a season, but in the end man is lost and no one wins.

These words would have rung a little hollow: “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!” There might be political peace, again for a season, but the evil that hounds man would still be as much as ever, probably worse,  while we have profound evil in the world today, we are still saved despite it, there would never be a solution to evil in a world where a new King David reigned. Heck, King David was capable of pretty profound evil himself, certainly not an ultimate antidote as Christ the Messiah is.

The world has slipped into this mode that Christmas is supposed to be an escape from reality, it tries to substitute the season for  all of the difficulties, melancholy, even despair of the world with “nostaligia, artificial trees and unrealistic diets” Despite the phoney cover the world tries to put over Christmas, it fails. For most of us, most of the time Christmas is a time of cheer, a break amidst the reality and that’s fine, but so many people see it as some sort of magical, cure all and it’s just not. Rates of depression and suicide skyrocket, why, because we’re supposed to be happy. Tammy, Donna and the rest of the Grief Share leaders did three separate programs this holiday season for Grief Share for the holidays. For those who have lost loved ones, and frankly who hasn’t when you get to a certain age, the nostalgia of the season often reminds us of the way Christmas was, who was there and who isn’t there now.

As Rev Sean Daenzer puts it, Far from ruining the holiday with a dose of reality, these days help us to ground our Christmas joy in the One who comforts in suffering and conquers in death. Jesus, our Emmanuel.[2]

No one is saying that we have to be some kind of kill joy, no one’s trying to bah-humbug the season of Christmas, good for you if you can transcend reality for at least one day and forget what is around you and in a way, you should and that’s what the church tries to show you. We have the hope, love and promise of Jesus 24/7, 365, we really don’t need to have what the world seems to need. A time when as Daenzer observes, the world tries to create a phoney world view, and then a few days later we deal with Winter Storm Hercules. The love of Christ is year round, the church is year round, the Body of Christ is year round, as brothers and sisters in Jesus we have a day in/day out reminder of who we are in Christ, the joy we have in Jesus.

Daenzer goes on to point out, that the church annually finds a way to sort of bring us back into the reality of the world, yes, we spend time remembering the Christ child and we do it by wrapping Santa Claus and Rudolph the Red nose reindeer and Black Friday and bright lights yada, yada and yada, but the church commemorates two great men of the Bible and also to remind us that evil is still prevalent and that the only remedy is the love of Christ year round.

Right out of the gate we celebrate St Stephen. Stephen was the first martyr after Jesus’ ascension. He started as a deacon, whose work of love in Jesus was to serve the widows of Christians by distributing food to them to help them survive. Widows of the most vulnerable people in that period and the Christian Church worked to serve those who had lost their husbands, often as a result of martyrdom.

On the very next day we remember St John the apostle and evangelist. John proclaimed Jesus as “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us” (John 1:14) We have John’s Gospel, we have the Book of Revelation that he wrote and his three epistles. Daenzer writes: “[John’s] writings bear witness both in deep and in simple ways, but they always point to what Christmas is all about: love. This love isn’t fading nostalgia. It isn’t love tarnished by broken promises, absent loved ones or dysfunctional family gatherings. God loved the world in this way, that He gave His only begotten Son.”[3]

Finally the harsh remembrance of evil on Dec 28, “The Holy Innocents” Herod’s slaughter of the babies, his insane attempt to try and eliminate the true king of the Jews. Last week’s Matthew reading quoting Jeremiah: “A voice was heard in Ramah, weeping and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be comforted, because they are no more.”(Matt 2:18) Who is Rachel? She is Jacob’s wife, and what was the name that Yahweh gave Jacob? Israel! These are the children of Israel and Rachel is mourning her children and Jacob’s.

It is the love of Christ that moves us, sustains us, comforts us throughout the year. Certainly we should celebrate that love on a particular day and what better day to do that then on the day that the angel proclaimed to the shepherds: “”Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. (Luke 2: 10-11) As I said, they knew what Xristos/Meshiach meant, the Savior, the chosen one. We have this great promise. On this day we remember the Magi, these men were not Jews, but they came to honor Him who would be the salvation of not just the Jewish people, as John wrote “for God so loved the world”. And so it was the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. “Everythiing in the heart and life of the Father was released to His Son. As the Father expressed His love for a broken and sinful world, this passion was manifested through the life of His Son.”[4] Henry Blackaby writes. The day of the incarnation that love blossomed into the world, but it would be a love that would grow and increase and climax on that cross, that cross that would pay for our sins. It was a love that far exceeded Christmas and is for all of us every day. What did the wise men do on that day of Epiphany? They did what we should be doing at every opportunity, Leo Sanchez writes: “the wise men followed the star and came to Bethlehem for no other reason than to ‘worship’ the Lord.” … “We see in the wise men’s worship of Jesus a picture of faith and love.” [5] As this Baby brought to us gifts of eternal value, the wise men brought gifts of great earthly wealth to Him as acts of worship. We have the opportunity to show the love of Christ year round through our “gifts” to Him to imitate the Magi. We use our treasure to support the Church of Christ, to serve others with our wealth, not for our benefit, but as we would tell those who receive to live for Him who gave His all for us.

Christmas is a time of great joy, but let’s temper that joy by remembering those who gave back to Jesus in great sacrifice, who died for the cause of Christ, who came a long distance to worship Him and offer their wealth to Him. Blackaby writes: “Jesus prayed that God would place this same love in His disciples. He knew that no other motivation would be sufficient for the assignments God had for them. God’s answer was to place His Son in them. It is impossible for a Christian to be filled with this measure of love and not to be on mission with God.”[6]

Take this time to reflect not only on what God gave us in His Son, but how we worship and sacrifice for Him who served us. Enjoy Christmas, but remember it’s deeper meaning and go back into the world on December 26th in the spirit of Stephen, John, the magi,  those who gave all they had for Christ. Remember the love that motivated them and that Christ has for us. By doing this we persevere through the entire year, even that time before Christmas when we may not feel merry or the need to make merry, but are lifted up in Him whose love is not just year round, but for eternity.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Amin and shalom Christ is born!!


[1] Rev Heath Curtis  “Lutheran Witness” December 2012 p 23

[2] Sean Daenzer  The Lutheran Witness Dec 2013 pp 16, 17

[3] Ibid p 17

[4] Henry and Richard Blackaby “Experiencing God Day by Day” p 22

[5] Dr Leopoldo Sanchez  “Concordia Journal Fall 2013” p 347

[6] Henry and Richard Blackaby “Experiencing God Day by Day” p 22

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Christian witness, not syncretism in the workplace.

Father Nkwasibwe brings up an interesting issue that is a hot button with those who are concerned about maintaining their faith integrity. You might have thought of it, and now I’m going to give you a label to slap on, the word is snycretism. As a Lutheran pastor I am very serious about Lutheran doctrine. Lutheran doctrine is significantly different then the rest of Christian belief. There are 5 main branches of Christianity and their doctrine is decidedly different. I’m not going to go into detail (unless of course asked to and I will be happy to elaborate) anyway, syncretism is the concept that we are just supposed to all agree and put aside rather profound differences. That sounds all warm and gushy, but there is such a thing as integrity too and being faithful to the teachings of the church that you have professed loyalty to. Now I know the whole concept of loyalty and confessing doctrine is just oh so narrow and inflexible, but believe me, if this was something that I couldn’t profess I wouldn’t and certainly wouldn’t go out teaching it.

So having said that, I feel that there are many who would have issues of integrity and loyalty regarding their beliefs, especially in terms of interactions at the workplace. I am in no way suggesting some kind of holy war, please do not, it’s one thing to stand by your beliefs, it’s another thing to wrestle at the workplace, that’s not cool. If you want to respectfully disagree do so, then disengage.

“…an inter-faith activity would be depreciating fidelity and obligation to God of one’s understanding if it promoted “syncretism”, which refers to a synthetic amalgamation of dissimilar forms of religious beliefs or practices. Also if it sponsored “faith neutrality, which refers to a claim of nonaligned status or impartiality in one’s loyalty to God of one’s understanding, it would be downgrading fidelity. Meanwhile, if it endorsed “relativism”, which refers to the denial or undermining of the absolute or ultimate moral truths and values, it would be exalting deviation from the obligation to promote the standards of the truth or common good.” (Business Courage, pp 140-141 (hey you asked, and I had to type it!)

Please do not take any of what I blog as some sort of endorsement or encouragement to put aside what should be your sincere, faithful beliefs for others religious beliefs, ceremonies, etc. For example as Lutherans we have a very high view of the Lord’s Supper, the Body and Blood of Jesus. If you were not in fellowship with the church and did not have the correct understanding of the Lord’s Supper I would encourage you not to take communion. So it does go both ways, there should be proper respect to not compromise on your faith, or to compromise someone else’s.

I want people to live out their principles, their beliefs, live out their life in the workplace in Christ. In other than extraordinary circumstances I would not (assuming you’re a Lutheran), come to your place of business and give you the Lord’s Supper. I would however as your pastor want you to live your life in Christ in the workplace. Feel free to bring on the discussion. Image

It’s faith in God’s leading, not our reason

We kind of like to substitute “reason” for pragmatism. We like to think we have “reasoned” out the issue and whatever is the most pragmatic solution, well that then of course is the most reasonable. You always know that there’s the “right” way, the God-honoring way, but that’s not always how we make our decisions. Fr Frederick Nkwasibwe in his book Business Courage quoting Pope Benedict writes: “Mature faith is a handmaid and rescue service provider of reason. In spite of reason having a significant likelihood of deforming our way of thinking, behaving and relating, it also has the potentiality and it can actually be purified and liberated by faith from its blind spots and mistakes. Faith has the capacity of liberating reason from its mistakes that ruleImage our minds. Pope Benedict XVI (2005) underscores this point when he writes: ‘If reason is to be exercised properly, it must undergo constant purification, since it can never be completely free of the danger of a certain ethical blindness caused by the dazzling effect of power and special interests … Faith by its specific nature is an encounter with the living God  – an encounter opening up new horizons extending beyond the sphere of reason. But it is also a purifying force for reason itself. From God’s standpoint, faith liberates reason from its blind spots and therefore helps it to be ever more fully itself. Faith enables reason to do its work more effectively and to see its proper object more clearly.” (Encyclical Letter Deus Caritas Est (God is love Dec 25, 2005) no 28, a) pp 73-74 Business Courage).

So what does that mean? We must continually go back and be in God’s Word, in His sacraments, regularly meeting with brothers and sisters in Jesus, remembering what is ultimately the most important thing. The faith that God gives us guides us to things and results we can’t even imagine, whether it is what happens in our vocation or for eternity. Trust in Him and He will lead you to the best result, something that your reason can’t even begin to imagine or justify.

Let’s talk some more, now that the holidays are over and the snow and cold of winter is here in force, well, we’re at least back on our regular schedule. Join us at the Green Bean Coffee Co, the corner of W King St and Beaver St, park behind the church, 10am Wednesday Jan 8. We are still in Gene Veith’s book on our vocation, we have copies for you to use.

 

Men and women are different, that’s how God made us

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Starting decades ago, right up to the present, there is still this odd, persistent idea that there are no differences between men and women. The more real science there is and the less pop science that is so popular in liberal circles, the more we understand how different men and women are. That is not to say better, not so good, right/wrong, it’s just that’s the way God made us.

It also underscores the fact that brought together, in holy matrimony of course, men and women complement each other so amazingly, clearly we were made that way in order to, together, be a small indication of the completeness of God. God is the totality of everything, neither man nor woman, but the completeness, and so much more of humans. God made man and woman to be together, I understand that doesn’t always work out in life, but it does say that we are complete in heterosexual marriage, and homosexual marriage does not complete anyone or anything, it undermines what God has intended for us and tries to convince us that there are alternatives to God’s plan. There certainly are alternatives, but nothing other than God’s plan ends up well.

Anyway, the prompt for this blog is an article in “Christian Counseling Today” published by the American Association of Christian Counselors, since I’m pretty sure the vast majority of people reading this don’t subscribe I will quote at length. If you are interested in Christian Counseling this organization has great programs to train clergy and laity, if interested feel free to check with me.

The following article is by Walt Larimore, Dr Larimore is an MD “…one of America’s best-known family physicians and has been named in ‘The Best Doctors in America’ and ‘Who’s who in Medicine and Healthcare’. He is the best-selling author of 30 books, which along with his health blog and free daily devotional   DrWalt.com 

“…as I counsel female patients, they seem surprised to learn that men’s brains are simply not structured for long talks – whereas a woman’s brain is designed to process and enjoy long bouts of verbal communication.

This is not learned behavior. Rather, males and females come into the world with differences in how they hear and speak, already in place. The effect of testosterone in the unborn male changes his brain so that it has fewer and less connected verbal centers than does a female brain. So, it should not surprise us that girls develop proficient language skills earlier than boys…These differences are so profound that by three years of age, the average girl has twice the vocabulary of the average boy.

What is happening in the brain to cause these differences? Women use specific areas located on both sides of the brain for speech and language functions, while men tend to use just one side of their brains (the left hemisphere) for verbal tasks. when it comes to talking, women are naturally good at it, enjoy the process, and do it often. In addition, the neural connections between a woman’s emotional processing and memory centers are larger, far more active and more strongly connected to the verbal center of the brain than in a man.

She is designed to connect memories, words and feelings, so her conversation tends to be laden with emotion and meaning. Not so with men. The biological design of men causes them to be less likely to identify and communicate their emotions. With a smaller emotional center, men remember fewer emotional experiences than women. Furthermore, the portions of his brain that process emotion are much smaller and much less connected than those in her brain. So a man’s capacity to feel and express emotions is physically separated from his ability to verbally articulate. In conversation, men are much less likely (or even able) to talk about emotions and generally express much less emotional content than the average woman. This reality explains why male conversations are usually filled with facts and are devoid of emotion.

It is no surprise to veteran counselors that the most common dissatisfaction in marriage for a woman, at least after a few years, is that her husband does not provide the conversation she needs. Yet, most are not aware that a woman’s sensitivity to this communication gap has a biological origin – the calming, feel-good, bonding hormone called oxytocin.This hormone compels a woman to find others with whom she can talk it out because, when she does, it feels good and helps relieve stress and tension. Nevertheless, conversation with her husband is important because it magnifies the feelings of bonding and intimacy that she longs for in her relationship with him. However, if a wife’s expectation is that her husband will be the sole provider of oxytocin-rich relationships and conversations, she is likely to feel unloved and quite alone. She may expect her husband to feel unloved and quite alone. She may expect her husband to be available and able to meet all of her emotional and conversational needs, but it is just not the way he is built!

His brain is built to see conversation as a means to an end, whereas her brain is designed to see talking as an end in itself. Researchers have found that not only is her brain built to listen more acutely than his brain, but a woman can use up to six ‘listening expressions’ on her face in any 10-second period of conversation. Whether women are speaking or listening, they reflect in their faces what they are feeling. A woman’s facial expression communicate feelings to such an extent that when two women are talking to each other, it can be very difficult to tell who is sharing and who is responding…

…A man’s high levels of testosterone and vasopressin lead him toward problem-solving responses to stressors. Therefore, a man’s brain and hormones compel him to respond to emotions and stress by either doing something or fixing something They also lead him toward aggression and action, dominance and decision making. Functional brain scans show the male brain is extremely systemized, with a high ability to compartmentalize, a low ability to multitask, a high ability to control emotions, a low relational orientation, a high project orientation, a high ability to ‘zone out’ a tendency to act first and think later when faced with stress, an aggressive response to risk and a tendency to compete with other males. The female brain, on the other hand, has been shown to be highly empathetic with a low ability to compartmentalize, a high ability to multitask, a low ability to control emotions, a relational orientation, a low project orientation, a low ability to ‘zone out’ a tendency to think and feel before acting in response to stress, a cautious response to risk, and a tendency to cooperate with other females.

In addition, the cortical processing areas that men use for solving puzzles or problems tend to be the same regions that women use for emotive processing. In other words, when he is dealing with a project, a problem, a stress, or an emotion, a man will typically become very quiet. While using his right brain to solve problems or deal with emotions, it is hard for a man to use his left brain to listen or speak. His compartmentalized brain is designed to do one thing at a time; it is difficult for him to solve a problem and converse at the same time. Scans show that when a man is sitting silently, his brain is either at rest or he is having a conversation with himself.

Most women find it incomprehensible – and even frightening – when they realize this is how a male’s brain is designed to work. This is because it is almost the opposite of her brain. A woman’s brain is never at rest – when she is dealing with a problem, she not only wants to talk, but also needs to talk. Her conversation with another person allows her to reduce stress and talk through the problem. It is important for men to realize that when she does this, she is not necessarily looking for a solution in the same way he would.

The fact is that his brain and her brain perceive the world quite differently and communicate in very different ways. We speak and hear language differently. We mean different things by what we say. As a result, a significant communication gap can build up and divide us if we are not aware of our design differences and why they are there. To bridge this communication gap, we need to understand not only how we say what we say, but also what the other sex’s brain hears. Coming to recognize and understand our communication and language differences has allowed my wife and me to smile and laugh more as we work to build a stronger marriage.” ( Christian Counseling Today Vol 20 No 3 pp 54 -57)

In summary, there are clear differences and reasons why we are how we are. Guys be there for your wives, spend time listen and share, it does have to be both ways, don’t just be a sounding board. Ladies, realize that there is a limit, husband needs to make more of an effort, but don’t overdo. Speaking as a man, please one favor, unless there is a very important reason, please come to the point first, then fill in the details. As a pastor, I really do value my wife’s input, she really does give me an important perspective, but there are times when she’s talking about something that’s kind of a hot-button and I really do need to know where the discussion is going. Let’s get out of this nonsense that men and women are the same, they aren’t, vivre la difference, God made us different to be paired together by Him to glorify Him, let’s live up to His expectations.

Worship is not about payback, it’s about adoring Him who knows us for eternity.

This day and age is just way too much about “what’s in it for me?” “My time is too valuable!” I love that one, I’m so important just get the heck out’va my way, because it’s all about me.

Really?

Let’s think about this for a minute, are we so tunnel-visioned, so narrow, so myopic as to think it really is all about me? Absolutely we do what we are moved to do, what the Holy Spirit is leading us to do, but in the end, it’s all about what the Father does in and through us. Much as you’d like to deny it, God could pull the plug on you at any minute, Jesus could return by midnight tonight, where does that leave you? You who was so sure that it was all about you.

I really think the following from Skye Jethani of “Leadership Journal Magazine”, hits it on the head. Worship is for eternity, there might not be any “payback” by the end of the Fiscal Year, but your FY isn’t even a blip in contrast to eternity. Worship is not about payback, it’s, well I will get out of Pastor Jethani’s way: “

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“We [Americans] interpret everything through a lens of pragmatism, through a transactional understanding of the world. Many of us come to church Sunday after Sunday with an expectation of receiving something … But God does not exist to be useful. God exists to be adored, simply because of who he is. True worship is never transactional. True worship expects nothing in return. True worship is, at its core, an act of senseless, wasteful, indulgent beauty.”

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OK, if you really have to, think of worship as a down payment on eternity, but really look to what the Holy Spirit is doing in you. And really, it’s just not going to happen without worship. Worship is that time when we “come home” at least for a moment. We have that little taste of heaven, we are part of the Body of Christ, part of something much bigger then you, your job, your company, your… whatever. This is what you take back into the world on Monday.

Stop with the payback stuff, be a part of something much bigger then you can imagine, stop playing around with your life, your eternal destiny. Does going to worship make you a lock for eternity in the presence of Christ? NOOOO, but if you’re never before Him, if you truly think that it’s all about you, that it’s all about what’s in it for payback, ya well…

Are you in relationship with Jesus? He died for you, He died so that you would be in relationship with the Triune God, so that you could know what His earthly plan is for you and also His eternal plan for you. You have to live it out, if you are going to be in relationship with Him, doesn’t it stand to reason that you, at least once in awhile, pay a visit, be a part of the Body of Christ? Are you in relationship with your spouse? And what, just show up couple of times a year?

God bless, worship at First St Johns 140 W King St, York, Pa.   10:30 Sunday mornings hint, hint, hint.

Submission in the workplace

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Submission in  the workplace is submission to Christ. Worship strengthens us so that we can go out into the world with the assurance of Christ’s forgiveness and be equipped for service to our neighbors in the workplace (and else where). (Ephesians 6:5-8) “Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ,
not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.” (ESV)
 
Lutheran Spirituality

OK, so maybe the “slaves” can be replaced with butcher, baker, candlestick maker, Indian chief, but the principle is still the same. We may not like to think of it in these terms all the time, but we honor God we when we submit to all earthly authorities He puts over us. spouses, bosses, professors, on and on. That doesn’t mean to be willfully stupid, but it does mean to support and respect them at every moment. Image

Age of Cheaters

Since I posted about this article, this issue, Lance Armstrong has made a “de facto” admission of drug use, he didn’t say it, but he stopped fighting the issue. I still think that Armstrong is a great athlete. As a man, he has overcome cancer and has made a huge impact as a great encouragement for others dealing with the same problem as well as raising a great deal of money. I still do admire Armstrong as an athlete. However it certainly does change my perception. Armstrong passed hundreds of drug tests over the last ten plus years, we can only surmise that somehow he beat the system, but the system finally caught up. By God’s grace I’ve never had cancer, never been seriously ill, never really had any significant medical issue, no question I have been blessed. Nonetheless, I saw Armstrong as an inspiration, as someone who didn’t let the circumstances get him down, which frankly is pretty much the mode today, but he rose above them, he was an inspiration. How did Armstrong really benefit others, yes he raised millions of dollars and did great work, but I can’t help think that this is just another regular mortal who put gain ahead of integrity, who did great things, but did so to what? Atone for the sins he knew he was committing? My faith has been dinged, yes I should realize that my faith should be exclusively in the Triune God, but did Armstrong contribute more as someone who rose above it all, or as someone who raised the bucks. I would argue that, he contributed more to humanity as that great example and now he has only reinforced what the cynics claim, that everyone really is out for themselves at whatever cost, even the lost faith of millions of people and even more underscores Rich Karlgaard’s opinion that this is “The Age of Cheats”. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to go down in posterity associated that way.  Image